A while back, I posted a sensible set of water-saving recommendations. Evidently, more stringent measures are required.
I was hoping we would not have to go to Defcon 6 (on a 5-point scale), but here goes:
- Henceforth, flushing the toilet will be performed on a discretionary basis. Use the old axiom: If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down. We have those waterless urinals at work and they're not that bad unless somebody had asparagus. This week they put blue stuff in them, so when in action they look like a lava lamp. Way cool and no water!
- Transportation of glaciers to NC via 12-ounce cans should be increased immediately.
- Even at fine restaurants, men will no longer be expected to pour their bottle or can of beer into a glass as an expression of good manners. Eliminates the need to wash glasses and instills that 'at home' feeling.
- To eliminate washing of sweaty clothes, men will again be restricted from exercise of any kind. This does not include activites like golf or fishing, which do not cause one to break a sweat. This sacrifice will mean more time in front of the TV, so caring wives may want to consider an upgrade during the Holiday season. 50" plasma is fine.
- I saved the best for last. My plan will not only resolve Wake County's water supply crisis, but also address concerns regarding illegal immigration. Let us welcome those crossing the Rio Grande, and have them form a bucket brigade which begins at that river and stretches all the way to Wake County. I know its Texas water, but beggars...