If I Were King of Cary

I'm no different from most people who work for someone else, sometimes I like to think about what I'd do if I were in charge. Along those same lines, it is kind of fun to imagine oneself as King of Cary for a day, at least for me.

Cary already had a great day on October 9th when we voted for sweeping change on our Town Council. These new optimistic leaders have tough work ahead of them to clean up the mess left by their predecessors (with the exception of Marla Dorrel, who was a true leader). I'd love to be King for a day before they take office, and take drastic steps to make their job easier.

As King/Dictator/Despot for one day, I'd do the following:

1. Review all development approved by the previous Town Council in the past year, and require re-approval for any cases in which government and developers collaborated to screw the citizens. Davis & High House would be a great start. They already have a lawsuit filed, and if I were King I'd eagerly admit guilt and restart the approval process. Is this fair to all of the applicants who followed due process? I don't care. I am the King, and I make the rules. If the royal lawyers don't let me pull the plug on DHH, then I'm sponsoring a peasant boycott of all retail establishments built there. As King, I declare this parcel tainted and decadent!

2. The 'Beer Garden' which was added to this year's Lazy Daze festival caused much consternation among the loyal subjects, and I would eliminate it from next year's festival. Drinking beer has no place in a festival dedicated to Cary living and arts and crafts. In fact, beer drinking deserves a festival of its own! I would launch an annual beer festival, if Durham can have one then we can too. As King, I would be granted free admission and consumption. Its good to be King.

3. Bye bye, aquatics palace. One stroke of the quill and we leave a $30M boondoggle behind. If the chamber of commerce and hotel owners want an aquatics palace, then they can pay for it. If the citizens who signed the Hawes Tract petition want it, they can pay for it. This is the nice part about being King, you can do the right thing for all citizens without worrying about pissing off a few.

4. Royal amnesty is granted to all town employees who have supported the previous mayor and his policies. Anyone who has offered false public support of previous Town Council members, or been intimidated and influenced by them in any way, here is your chance for absolution. Throw open your windows and denounce them! I'm only King for a day, so act now before this offer expires. This offer does not include tax, tags or dealer preparation

5. After my 24-hour reign, Cary will return to its regularly-scheduled democratic government. Before that happens, I'm edicting that anyone who wants to run for public office in Cary be limited to $50,000 in campaign funding, all of it from Cary. $50K should let them get their message out, and if they have a 'good story' to tell, voters will buy it. Allowing special-interest groups to pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into candidate campaigns does not promote true democracy. It promotes a government where money talks, and where corruption flourishes.

6. As King, I'd direct the royal legal staff to craft an APF ordinance which was bullet-proof, and approve it personally. At a minimum, it would require conveyance of land to the school system.

7. The approved budget for 2008 is an engine built for the rapid strip-mining of Cary. I would like the Royal Clerk, Bob Cratchitt, to submit this budget for re-review. If the budget can't be changed, then it should be memorialized as one of the last acts of a dysfunctional council. My Royal Jester, Neire McStealir, will be directed to make good comedy of the budget document.

With only a day to work with, I don't think I'd have time to also tackle problems like schools and water, but Cary has qualified leadership coming who will help solve these problems. When my work is done, I'd hope to be exiled to the island of Elba, or if that's not available then Sunset Beach would do just fine.